Jeni’s Day Does Not Go As Planned

Today was my last day to get stuff done before Mark got back, and it was also the only day my mom hasn’t helped me by taking some kids for a few hours.  Last night when I went to bed, I thought I’d easily accomplish all that remained today.  How easy it was to be with only five children to care for instead of seven.  But I didn’t count on the twins turning into a Twinado. How could I know that the two sweet little girls with their arms on each other’s shoulders singing “Nutella on the Mountain!” in unison this morning at breakfast could wreak such havoc by noon? 

The first incident actually had nothing to do with them, but it was indicative of how my day would go.  When I was changing Patie, as is her custom, she grabbed something to look at from off my vanity.  Today she grabbed the baby oil, which would have been fine if the lid were on properly.  It wasn’t, and she tried to drink it.  I had finished cleaning my tub a mere twenty minutes before I had to deposit an oily baby into it. 

I was installed in the girls’ bedroom going through their books again, getting rid of the ones we don’t read, when I heard Sophie say “Patie is messy.”  After leisurely finishing my task (for how much worse could it get in five minutes?), I headed downstairs to investigate. Patie was messy.  Nutella had been re-opened and liberally applied on the baby by way of a very dull paring knife, spatula, and hands.  I wasn’t about to put Patie in the bath again, since I had already cleaned it twice and had no intention of doing it three times in one day.  So I washed her with a cloth, put foil on the nutella because the lid had gone AWOL, and headed back upstairs to my work. 

Later I needed to get an address for Beth off my computer, and in the schoolroom wherein sat my computer, a miracle had occurred—the water in the frog tank had turned to blood.  Okay.  It wasn’t really a miracle in the strictest sense of the word, but I didn’t explode, so that has to count for something, right?  Yes, it does.  But you’re wondering how my frog tank water had turned to blood, aren’t you?  I’ll stop gabbing about my amazing self control and tell you—a half a can of bloodworms.  Bloodworms, when dumped in sufficient quantity, turn the water blood colored.  There were bloodworms on the floor, on the carpet, on the shelf, behind the shelf.  Ugh.  So I cleaned up the bloodworms and changed about 60% of the water in the tank, which you’re not really supposed to do but I figure the frogs will only live 23 years instead of 25 if I shock them often enough. 

On the way to the kitchen, I looked in the bathroom and found the nutella lid.  Soggy and  gross, I quickly deposited it in the sink and moved on.  A few minutes later, I heard water running and found Sadie at the sink, washing dishes and the nutella lid in cold, soap-less water. 

Now the Twinado is in their bedroom to nap, but I hear giggling.  Ya know, I think I really want the rest of my family back, and I’m looking forward to my day off even more.  If the afternoon doesn’t go more smoothly, I may run screaming from the house at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.