a Toddler Is Available for Lease/Purchase

Let's see. She's so bad that I can hardly keep up with the list anymore. She came downstairs several days ago with diaper rash ointment completely covering her hands and arms. I cleaned her off, locked my door, and twenty minutes later she had pen marks covering her legs. Another day it was diaper rash ointment followed by iodine. Yes, the staining kind of iodine, all over her dress, her shoe, herself, the carpet, and my bathroom.

I'm praying for help when baby Sally Forth comes, and it is mostly due to the fact I need someone to keep constant watch on the twins. Well, half of the twins, anyway, and to discipline her when necessary.

Potty training? Not her. She wants to learn, maybe. She asks to go about twenty-seven times a day, usually right after she has gone in her diaper. I let Nate handle most of these false alarms, because he is willing to do it, and he likes putting clean diapers on her. Instead of learning how to go, she considers herself the resident potty cheerleader, and follows us into the bathroom to clap and say "yay" when we go.

Then there was the time that she hadn't gone in over 5 hours, and we sat her on the toilet for over an hour, giving her lemonade and dinner in hopes that something would happen. It did--after we took her off the toilet.

Tonight she grabbed a pen out of Mark's pocket and wrote all over her arms before I caught her. Oh, and last night she slept with us, and mostly on my neck.

Have I mentioned that she is such a bad baby. And when I mention it to her, she smacks her hand and says "Bad baby." How helpful is that!