Jeni Gets Snarky

My mother wants to go shopping with the twins tomorrow. Oo-la-la. It won't be as bad with only two, but twins cause enough of a stir so that it is sometimes frustrating to stop and deal with the questions we will be asked. I've done a little research, and now I'm ready to face the myriad of mental giants who will accost me.

When someone asks "Are they twins?" I'll answer something like this:

1. They used to be, but they're getting over it.
2. No, they were just born at the same time.
3. No, they just look a lot alike.
4. No, they're monkeys.
5. One is a twin, and one isn't.

Are they identical?

1. No, but they have identical parents.

And my favorite response to "How do you tell them apart?" is unfortunately one I cannot use, since my twins are both girls.

1. We don't worry about it, we figure that since they're identical, one is as good as the other.
2. We used to paint their names on the bottom of their feet. But since that kept wearing off, we weighed them and found out that the boy is a pound heavier than the girl.
3. We call the Psychic HotLine and they can tell us.
4. We're not sure yet.
5. They LOOK different!
6. It's easy, they have different names.

Do twins run in your family?

1. They are only 20 weeks old, they can't even sit up yet.
2. They do now!
3. Yes, they run up the stairs and down the halls!
4. First time blessing.
5. These two do!

Twins! You sure must have your hands full!

1. Yes, we sure do, but better full than empty.
2. Yes, but not as full as our hearts.

Were you taking fertilily drugs?

1. If you'll forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking.

Double Trouble?

1. No, I've got laughter and kisses in stereo.