Jeni Plants Flowers

Let's get one thing straight right from the beginning. I am NOT a gardener. I have always wanted to be a gardener, but I'm terrible at gardening. I even keep a garden journal, which reads something like this: "April--planted some flowers. May--they died." So one day, when I actually keep something alive for over a year and have a decent-looking garden, I'm going to write a book called Confessions of a Plant Killer, or maybe The Clueless Person's Guide to Gardening.

I once wanted to plant some pretty flowers in our yard in Georgia. I bought seeds, pushed them into the ground, and was surprised when nothing happened. In Oregon, I tried putting an entire tray of impatiens into one small container. It looked really pretty, but I was shocked when my sister told me that, uh, Jen, these plants are gonna grow. Oh, yeah. I knew that, and I bought four more pots. I invariably forgot to water my flowers, and they invariably got some disease from the stress and died.

And then I moved to Florida. FLOR-- means FLOWER, right? So I planted flowers. Here is a short list of the plants I've killed. Mexican heather, marigolds, gardenia, blue daze, liriope, nastursiams, chives, basil, rosemary, Spath, sunflowers, snapdragons... EVERY single thing I planted died.

UNTIL I met Robin. Robin is taking master gardening classes. She's got a great looking yard with lots of cool plants. I asked Robin for help, and boy did she answer. Lots of cuttings from her yard later, my garden is taking shape. I just can't believe that the things aren't dying. She comes over every couple of months and puts in new plants. I call her with all my questions. The best thing is she knows me, so she knows that I can only have low-maintenance plants (mostly weeds) in my yard. I had to beg for the Shrimp Plants because I'm supposed to fertilize them every three months! She refused to let me plant my corky-stemmed passion vine in my corner garden, because she knows I'll want to check out the caterpillars that will be eating it. So, go over to my photo blog and look at my garden. Everything in it is a cutting from Robin's garden, with the exception of my gardenia, one milkweed, and the yellow lantana.

What I've learned about gardening so far:
1) plants need water
2) God doesn't always send enough in the way of rain
3) I must supply with a hose what God does not send
4) gardening is easier when someone else does all the work
5) plants need pruning
6) pruning is easier when someone else does it
7) if you wait long enough, you don't have to dig your own holes-- see below for explanation

Evidently our oldest boys got the gardening bug as well. They independently decided that we needed to plant flowers in our front yard instead of grass, so they dug two big holes right our front door. I yelled "What do you think you are doing?" in as stern a voice as I could muster, but had to go quickly inside to hide my laughter. Mark wasn't as amused.

List of plants in my yard:
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow
Jatropha
Ruellia Purple Showers
Dwarf Crown of Thorns
Starburst Pentas
Red Raspberry Pentas
Pink Porterweed
Purple Porterweed
Blue Porterweed
Scarlet Milkweed
Mexican Ruellia
Chrysandra
Firespike
Firebush
Blanket Flower
Gardenia (my mother's day gift)
Yellow Lantana
Purple Lantana
Blue Butterfly
Angelwing Begonia
Golden Shrimp Plant

I also planted sunflowers with Nathaniel, and they've still not gotten taller than three inches. Hmmm. I really do have a black thumb.